ITALIAN MEN

Frankly, they are seriously insane. I would estimate they are shorter than the average Canadian male, but longer by far in the vanity department. If I was to bring one home in my suitcase, we'd both be hogging the mirror. Not fun! As a generalisation, they are very well turned out; some more than others. Coloured pants are very much in vogue in Italy at the moment, complete with linen jacket, and dapper suede shoes. The most extreme combination I saw was a man wearing all white, with a lilac linen jacket and dark purple suede shoes. Strange for a man - and yes, it was a man! I think...sometimes it's hard to know.

As we were gliding down the road on our gondola in Venice (road to them is river to us), I spotted a very smart looking fellow with dark yellow pants, navy blazer and green suede shoes (like Elvis, they sure love the suede). I asked him if I could take his photo as I would love my husband to dress like him. His response was "men wouldn't dress like me...they haven't the b***s". Excuse me? Did I hear what I thought I did?

They expend so much energy when communicating, it's no wonder they are so thin. They sound like they are arguing all the time. The hands, mouth, feet and eyes are always in full motion. As for the driving - this is where they really demonstrate the insanity bit! When you get into a taxi you take your life in your hands and yes - please put your seat belt on, and check your change.

Italian men love you... loving them. They like behinds, and they LOVE looking at women, fancy cars, and clothes. They wear shiny shoes so they can see their reflection on them. What astounds me is that more attention is paid in Italy to men's clothing stores, than to women's. I might be wrong, but I think Italian men spend more on their clothing than women. When I visited Ralph Lauren's decadent store on the fashionable Via Montenapoleone, it was 'All about the Boy'. Toy cars, exotic marble dogs with RL scarves around their necks, faux fireplace for the elegant RL man to sit and read his fashion magazine...a boy fantasy world...and the poor ladies had to trudge their way upstairs; granted, there was a fancy elevator to help transport you. Magnificent gilded portraits lined the walls on your way up to heaven.

When Italian men age, they leave their ladies at home, and head out into the fancy world of free tapas in bars, cigars, and chics. I noticed a lot of older men chatting together in bars, and not a woman between them. So when the lads are playing, the ladies are praying at home...or something like that. Weird.

But it's the walk...they sure know how to strut their fancy little stuff! Don't get me wrong, I think they are very well put together, but man it's the attitude! the arrogance, the sheer chauvenism, the brazen vanity, self-indulgence...bla bla bla. A law unto themselves!

Give me my darling CanIrish fellow any day. At least I can have the mirror to myself!!

Choo Choo!

Patricia xxx