Sounds like a Russian toast, doesn't it? or maybe something you roar when you've had too much ouzo and are busy smashing plates in Greece...It's actually Yiddish, and currently my favourite word. I like what it stands for - guts, audacity, conviction, confidence...and if you have all that, you'll eventually become what the French describe as 'bien dans sa peau' - nice/comfortable in your own skin. It's a quality I find very attractive in others, and one I'd like to aspire to one day - it's on my bucket list!
Just like charm - you either have it, or you don't, which Hillary Clinton has learnt to her detriment. She has everything that equips her to be a great American President - intelligence, experience, dedication, trojan work ethic...but, alas, she lacks a vital ingredient - Charm! By direct comparison, Bill had it in buckets. Her lack of charisma is apparently what is holding her back. Superficial? I agree. But such is life. She seems to be doing weird things to her hair and appearance of late. It's clear her image consultants are telling her to 'kick it up a notch Hillary'. My blog today is to convince myself, and others, that yes, you can learn how to have Chutzpah and Charm!
Look at all the female presenters on the American t.v. networks? You have to agree, they are sharp dressers, with super-slick personalities to boot. Michelle Obama and Anne Romney are no slackers in that department either. Jackie Kennedy also had the 'it' quality. Apparently, it's important. All part of the charm game.
Some would argue (Hillary definitely) that focusing too much on externals takes away from the character-building qualities needed for 'true' confidence, which in turn helps us to be more comfortable in our own skins. Inspirational author Danielle LaPorte oozes confidence. She is known for lighting the confidence spark in others, and is the author of 'A Soulful + Practical Guide for Creating Success on Your Terms. She pulls no punches and strongly advocates "Keep being yourself, relentlessly". Hmm. sounds like a plan - But then what if you don't like yourself? ...that's a dilemma.
Take heart! Apparently everyone has something that's charming, so says LaPorte. Seek and you shall find... Something...Anything!...maybe you've a killer smile, or beautiful eyes, or legs, etc. Goal number one, if you want to be comfortable in your own skin, is to practice self-compassion. Forgive yourself. After you've gone down on your knees, and apologized profusely to yourself for all those years of self-flagellation, telling your ears you hated them, or your butt to buzz off, etc. the next thing you have to do is a thorough self-examination, and don't stop until you find something you like about yourself. Even if it takes all night, don't stop until you find something. There is a genetic predisposition that makes us all care about what people think of us. Not everyone is born tough, alas!
It's common knowledge, if you feel you look good, your spine straightens, your head lifts, you look people straight in the eye, and it's a good headspace to be in. The following are some tips I read recently from style expert, Ellen Bennett. I thought they were good, and wanted to share them with you.
Wear what you love. Pretend your house was on fire, run to your closet and grab the things you absolutely cannot live without. Take three minutes and don't over-think. Just grab what you adore and makes you feel good.
Do the hanger trick. Set all your hangers facing one way. Whenever you wear something, flip the hanger. After a couple of months, you'll see what you wear regularly, the styles and colours you naturally gravitate to. If you're wearing things you don't like, ask yourself why.
Make a plan. Determine clothing needs by activity: work, exercise, gardening, weekend down time, entertaining. Combine your preferred colour palette with items you love and items you need. I've divided my clothes accordingly and keep exercise stuff in one section, rough/shabby clothes for cleaning/gardening in another, glam clothes in their space, and finally office clothes. Also, I plan 7 outfits for the week ahead, and write them on my closet door. It makes for a speedy getaway in the mornings!
Take time in the morning. They've proven that when babies look cute and people gush, it has a positive effect on the baby's psyche. So putting on lipstick or finding that special scarf can bring all this wonderful feedback your way.
Save up and build you wardrobe. We think we need a lot of things to look good, but really you need only about a dozen good things, and you fill in.
I definitely agree that you only need a few 'good pieces' but I cannot live without my hundreds of accessories, bling, bags, belts and scarves, collected over the years. This weekend I'll definitely be working on my wardrobe, and bringing all the summer stuff down to the basement. Ali has promised to model all my favourite fall outfits for me. I'll send you pics tomorrow. And, yes, true to my word - not a new piece of anything have I purchased for my wardrobe. Enoooo! All you need to re-vamp your clothes from one season to another is COLOUR! For Fall, you'll see all my colours match the beautiful autumnal hues in our gardens - golden, burgundy, fern green and brown.
Choo Choo for now and I have a HUGE dream come true...happening tomorrow. I'll keep you in suspense until it is over, and I'll tell you how it went, O.K.?
Polly Hugs,
Patricia xxx
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